I still don't understand why some people - in particular, people a generation older than me - post personal information on Facebook such that EVERYONE can see it.
The WFU Psychology Department has an administrative coordinator named Teresa who is responsible for lots of things: printing and copying bills, colloquia and receptions, proofing theses, etc. She is basically the equivalent of Robin Hawkins. And during the first week of our program, she added all the graduate students as Facebook friends (her request, not ours). She also appears to be Facebook friends with the majority of faculty members.
So here's the thing. Apparently Teresa is going through a separation/possible divorce with her husband, and she has made ALL THE DETAILS public for EVERYONE TO SEE.
So it starts like this on Wednesday, 9:55pm:
--(Teresa) is happy her husband is back home!
But less than 24 hours later:
--(Teresa) is sitting here in shock. How can one man be so fickle?! Who knows whether my husband is back or not!
A couple of people comment that they are praying for her, and that God will make everything okay. They ask what happened. She replies, again, FOR EVERYONE TO SEE:
--He's been home Monday and Tuesday night. Had someone break into his home where he's been the last 3 months last night. So he went back there for the night. Tonight he suddenly comes in and says it's not working. How can you decide it's not working when you haven't given it a chance? I've had it!
Someone named Marvin offers some support. She replies yet again:
--Thanks Marvin! The last 3 months I learned that Teresa is an okay person without her better (or worse) half. And I'm definitely not going to put up with being jerked around. I'm so angry right now I don't know what to do! But I really am relying on God to get me through whatever happens.
Some "supportive" comments offered by Teresa's various Facebook friends include:
--Tee - stand your ground. I am all about reconciliation but earned. He cannot come back unless he earns his way back. At this point, you are stronger on your own. Call if you need me.
Yes, a strong woman deals with her marriage issues by telling 657 Facebook friends about them.
--If you need anything feel free to call. I'll be out and about tomorrow if you need lunch or something just call and let me know. I'm just glad to hear you have grown thru all this and standing firm on God's word and not letting the mess shake you.
NOT LETTING THE MESS SHAKE YOU? SHE IS WRITING PARAGRAPHS ABOUT IT ON FACEBOOK!
My favorite part is that she has gone back and commented on old profile pictures that include her (ex-?)husband:
--Well, that was in the days when he actually loved me. Definitely not the case any more! But I'm getting used to it.
I don't understand why this man wouldn't want to be with her!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Let's work together, or not...
At my school, there is an extra period at the end of the day. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, students go to some non-academic activity (which they choose every 6 weeks based on what teachers offer to teach). On Tuesdays and Thursdays, students either have tutoring or a semi-academic class, depending on their test scores on standardized tests. I am assigned to teach 8th grade during this special 7th period. Right now, it really isn't working that well. Students know they do not receive a grade, so many do nothing, or are so disruptive that little can be accomplished.
There have been efforts to try to revamp and fix it. I heard through the grapevine that it had been decided by the core subject teachers in my grade (I am an elective, non-core teacher) that certain things were going to happen. This seemed odd to me, that not all the 8th grade 7th period teachers would be included in this decision making, much less communicating what was 'decided.' I thought, 'I'll just clear this up at the next staff meeting.' So, I asked all the 8th grade 7th period teachers to meet after the staff meeting to figure this out. About half of us showed up. We talked about the problems, tossed around possible solutions. I thought it was useful to brainstorm, but I didn't think much of it since not everyone was there, nor had we spoken to the curriculum coordinator or anyone in the administration about possible changes.
Imagine my surprise this morning when I checked my email from one of 8th grade core teachers TELLING us all how it would be, including being assigned/told to teach a certain class based on student surveys. That caused an immediate impassioned reply from an elective teacher saying that that was not going to fly, which then caused another negative reply from a different core teacher. Finally, the curriculum coordinator emailed us all saying that nothing was changing yet and that we would ALL have to meet after Christmas to figure this out.
I just don't understand how, if we are trying to create an environment of cooperation between licensed professionals, someone (or someones) would think it useful to unilaterally decide what their peers would do. Keep in mind, this is not our supervisor, nor someone designated as the 'leader' of the group of 8th grade 7th period teachers. This was, instead, one or several teachers, believing they could tell other teachers what to do without their input or a vote. In the end, all that was accomplished was pissing people off and 7th period is still a mess.
Two important things we can learn here:
1) Communication is key.
2) This is not Animal Farm: Some of us are not more equal than others.
There have been efforts to try to revamp and fix it. I heard through the grapevine that it had been decided by the core subject teachers in my grade (I am an elective, non-core teacher) that certain things were going to happen. This seemed odd to me, that not all the 8th grade 7th period teachers would be included in this decision making, much less communicating what was 'decided.' I thought, 'I'll just clear this up at the next staff meeting.' So, I asked all the 8th grade 7th period teachers to meet after the staff meeting to figure this out. About half of us showed up. We talked about the problems, tossed around possible solutions. I thought it was useful to brainstorm, but I didn't think much of it since not everyone was there, nor had we spoken to the curriculum coordinator or anyone in the administration about possible changes.
Imagine my surprise this morning when I checked my email from one of 8th grade core teachers TELLING us all how it would be, including being assigned/told to teach a certain class based on student surveys. That caused an immediate impassioned reply from an elective teacher saying that that was not going to fly, which then caused another negative reply from a different core teacher. Finally, the curriculum coordinator emailed us all saying that nothing was changing yet and that we would ALL have to meet after Christmas to figure this out.
I just don't understand how, if we are trying to create an environment of cooperation between licensed professionals, someone (or someones) would think it useful to unilaterally decide what their peers would do. Keep in mind, this is not our supervisor, nor someone designated as the 'leader' of the group of 8th grade 7th period teachers. This was, instead, one or several teachers, believing they could tell other teachers what to do without their input or a vote. In the end, all that was accomplished was pissing people off and 7th period is still a mess.
Two important things we can learn here:
1) Communication is key.
2) This is not Animal Farm: Some of us are not more equal than others.
So you're not coming to the meeting?
At 10:07 this morning, after a solid hour of working on my take-home final exam (which I was doing, appropriately, at home), I received a phone call from one of my classmates asking why I wasn't at some TA meeting I didn't know about.
He then explained that the professor in charge forgot (oops!) to include me on the email telling everyone about the meeting and asked when I could be there. I explained that I was at home working on my exam and wasn't planning on coming to campus today. "Oh, okay," he said, "So when can you be here?" Apparently he hadn't listened at all to what I had just said.
I politely explained that it would take me 30-45 minutes to get there, but I still wasn't going to come in because I was in the middle of working on my exam (now 1 question away from being finished!) This seemed to annoy him greatly. This was also the moment when I learned that I had been on speaker phone the entire time, with everyone at the meeting (the one I didn't know about) listening in.
"So you can't come to the meeting?" the professor in charge asked. This question seemed odd, and idiotic, to me for a number of reasons. First, I had already explained that it would take me 30-45 minutes to get there, and the meeting presumably started at 10 (though no one ever confirmed this for me or told me what the meeting was about - but we'll get to that later). Second, I had also explained that I was in the middle of working on my exam - the exam I had planned to work on today because I did not have any other meetings or commitments. Third, were they just going to sit around for 30-45 minutes waiting for me to get there and then have a 5 minute discussion about an issue that could probably be addressed in, I don't know, an email?
Though everyone was evidently very disappointed/annoyed that I was not at the meeting I didn't know about and wasn't planning on showing up, they decided to carry on with the meeting - with me on speaker phone, like some sort of conference call. They then proceeded to ask me various questions (I still didn't know exactly what the meeting was about) and would then presumably discuss whatever I had just said for two or three minutes, even though I couldn't hear what anyone was saying. "So does that sound good to you, Robbie?" someone asked. "Does what sound good?" I asked, since I had heard nothing. Again, sighs of disappointment and annoyance.
So I'm still not sure what I was supposed to do, what the meeting was supposed to be about, or where I am supposed to go from here. All I know is that none of this was my fault - and that I would be finished with my exam right now if it weren't for all those idiots.
He then explained that the professor in charge forgot (oops!) to include me on the email telling everyone about the meeting and asked when I could be there. I explained that I was at home working on my exam and wasn't planning on coming to campus today. "Oh, okay," he said, "So when can you be here?" Apparently he hadn't listened at all to what I had just said.
I politely explained that it would take me 30-45 minutes to get there, but I still wasn't going to come in because I was in the middle of working on my exam (now 1 question away from being finished!) This seemed to annoy him greatly. This was also the moment when I learned that I had been on speaker phone the entire time, with everyone at the meeting (the one I didn't know about) listening in.
"So you can't come to the meeting?" the professor in charge asked. This question seemed odd, and idiotic, to me for a number of reasons. First, I had already explained that it would take me 30-45 minutes to get there, and the meeting presumably started at 10 (though no one ever confirmed this for me or told me what the meeting was about - but we'll get to that later). Second, I had also explained that I was in the middle of working on my exam - the exam I had planned to work on today because I did not have any other meetings or commitments. Third, were they just going to sit around for 30-45 minutes waiting for me to get there and then have a 5 minute discussion about an issue that could probably be addressed in, I don't know, an email?
Though everyone was evidently very disappointed/annoyed that I was not at the meeting I didn't know about and wasn't planning on showing up, they decided to carry on with the meeting - with me on speaker phone, like some sort of conference call. They then proceeded to ask me various questions (I still didn't know exactly what the meeting was about) and would then presumably discuss whatever I had just said for two or three minutes, even though I couldn't hear what anyone was saying. "So does that sound good to you, Robbie?" someone asked. "Does what sound good?" I asked, since I had heard nothing. Again, sighs of disappointment and annoyance.
So I'm still not sure what I was supposed to do, what the meeting was supposed to be about, or where I am supposed to go from here. All I know is that none of this was my fault - and that I would be finished with my exam right now if it weren't for all those idiots.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Biltmore Idiots
Someone mentioned to me that this blog had been tossed to the wayside, so I thought I'd put up a post to spur getting things back on track. Surely with the approaching holiday season, we will all encounter more than our share of idiots!
This post is actually based on an experience that Chris and I had some time ago, but we were reminded of it recently, and I thought it deserves a blog post.
Some time ago, Chris and I went to Asheville for the weekend to hear my brother's band play and see some touristy sites. Neither one of us had ever gone to the Biltmore, so we thought we'd buy the grossly overpriced tickets to get inside the biggest house in America. Just one time. However, we were too cheap to pay the $7 a person extra for the personal audio tour, consisting of an MP3 player that plays an audio description of whatever you're viewing. We thought that, being literate people, we'd be able to read about things just as easily and skip the annoying recorded voice.
I think there were about 8 other people there that day that made the same decision. The other 10,000 or so people spent their day bumbling around the mansion in perceived silence. Because they had silencing headphones on and a voice playing in their heads, they thought that the people crowded around them couldn't possibly hear what they were doing. So as we stand looking at art, at old bedrooms, at whatever, all that Chris and I hear is a chorus of flatulence. Everyone, everywhere in the Biltmore, is letting loose.
At first, it was funny. "Let's go to the nicest place in the country, and then fart freely and loudly!" We kept bursting into laughter, but no one else was in on the joke. However, after one long trip up a flight of stairs behind a man who farted with every step, the silliness wore off.
How could these people be so unaware of their surroundings? Just because YOU have headphones on and can't hear anything doesn't mean that everyone else has suddenly gone deaf, too. And even if they have, does that mean that it's now appropriate to constantly fart?
Finally, Chris and I ran across another couple in the same predicament in which we found ourselves. Finally, we decided the solution to this problem would be to comment, loudly, whenever someone farted. That way, we could indicate who was ruining our our frou frou tour with their gas. However, apparently talking is ruder than audibly farting, so we stopped. C'est la vie!
This post is actually based on an experience that Chris and I had some time ago, but we were reminded of it recently, and I thought it deserves a blog post.
Some time ago, Chris and I went to Asheville for the weekend to hear my brother's band play and see some touristy sites. Neither one of us had ever gone to the Biltmore, so we thought we'd buy the grossly overpriced tickets to get inside the biggest house in America. Just one time. However, we were too cheap to pay the $7 a person extra for the personal audio tour, consisting of an MP3 player that plays an audio description of whatever you're viewing. We thought that, being literate people, we'd be able to read about things just as easily and skip the annoying recorded voice.
I think there were about 8 other people there that day that made the same decision. The other 10,000 or so people spent their day bumbling around the mansion in perceived silence. Because they had silencing headphones on and a voice playing in their heads, they thought that the people crowded around them couldn't possibly hear what they were doing. So as we stand looking at art, at old bedrooms, at whatever, all that Chris and I hear is a chorus of flatulence. Everyone, everywhere in the Biltmore, is letting loose.
At first, it was funny. "Let's go to the nicest place in the country, and then fart freely and loudly!" We kept bursting into laughter, but no one else was in on the joke. However, after one long trip up a flight of stairs behind a man who farted with every step, the silliness wore off.
How could these people be so unaware of their surroundings? Just because YOU have headphones on and can't hear anything doesn't mean that everyone else has suddenly gone deaf, too. And even if they have, does that mean that it's now appropriate to constantly fart?
Finally, Chris and I ran across another couple in the same predicament in which we found ourselves. Finally, we decided the solution to this problem would be to comment, loudly, whenever someone farted. That way, we could indicate who was ruining our our frou frou tour with their gas. However, apparently talking is ruder than audibly farting, so we stopped. C'est la vie!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Know you didn't.....
Upon my arrival at work today, I checked my mailbox in the main office. As expected, there were two tests I had sent to the testing center (for 2 students who receive separate setting) a couple of days ago. Of course these students have not been in school for the past couple of days. This is where the fun begins....
On the bottom of one student's page was written...and I quote...
Now show 11/3 Teacher Aid's Initials
Now show 11/4 Teacher Aid's Initials
The same exact thing was written on the front page of Student #2's packet. (Just wait, it gets better.)
I walk over to another teacher (who is also in the EC department) and I say. "Ms. C, I know I'm about to hate on your boy, but look at this."
At this point I hand her the papers, She smiles and gives a slight laugh and says, (and I quote) "Oh, he left off the K."
Now you may find this hard to believe, but I promise I said the following sentence with the most serious face I've ever put on, "Actually he added a w."
I then said, "Have a great day." Walked out of the workroom, made it back to the office of my school and died laughing. And I do mean I almost died, I laughed so hard.
Good job America, We entrust the education of our children to these people. Not to mention they teach kids that need a little (or a lot) of extra help. Way to go. Ms. C likes to talk about how she grew up in the neighborhood our students live in, but that she was smart enough to over come it. I'm not so sure. And I wont even go into the fact that some accredited university (which shall remain nameless), is giving this woman a Master's Degree.
So say what you will about the movie, but every day I come to work, I realize as a nation we are WAITING FOR SUPERMAN, and he can't get here quick enough. Just because you work in a school doesn't make you educated.
On the bottom of one student's page was written...and I quote...
Now show 11/3 Teacher Aid's Initials
Now show 11/4 Teacher Aid's Initials
The same exact thing was written on the front page of Student #2's packet. (Just wait, it gets better.)
I walk over to another teacher (who is also in the EC department) and I say. "Ms. C, I know I'm about to hate on your boy, but look at this."
At this point I hand her the papers, She smiles and gives a slight laugh and says, (and I quote) "Oh, he left off the K."
Now you may find this hard to believe, but I promise I said the following sentence with the most serious face I've ever put on, "Actually he added a w."
I then said, "Have a great day." Walked out of the workroom, made it back to the office of my school and died laughing. And I do mean I almost died, I laughed so hard.
Good job America, We entrust the education of our children to these people. Not to mention they teach kids that need a little (or a lot) of extra help. Way to go. Ms. C likes to talk about how she grew up in the neighborhood our students live in, but that she was smart enough to over come it. I'm not so sure. And I wont even go into the fact that some accredited university (which shall remain nameless), is giving this woman a Master's Degree.
So say what you will about the movie, but every day I come to work, I realize as a nation we are WAITING FOR SUPERMAN, and he can't get here quick enough. Just because you work in a school doesn't make you educated.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Why don't you know how to use an apostrophe?
When you make a contraction the apostrophe REPLACES the letter(s) you are taking out. It does not go randomly in the word wherever you feel like putting it.
For example:
You all is shortened to y'all. The apostrophe takes the place of the "ou." So you should not write ya'll or 'yall unless you are mentally handicapped in some way.
Also, if you make a photo album for Halloween of the year 2010 but you want to be hip and cool and not write the 20 in the front of 2010 you should write '10. The apostrophe takes the place of the missing numbers "2" and "0." You should not write Halloween 10' unless you were 10 feet tall for Halloween. Which leads me to the next point.
The apostrophe can be used as a symbol for a unit of measurement called the foot. This is a measurement of length in case you are stupid. So if you are 6 feet 2 inches tall you can write 6'2". (the " is a symbol for inches). On the other hand, if you are selling a bicycle with a 58 inch frame you should not write 58' frame. That would mean the frame is 58 feet tall.
We are doomed.
People Who'd Rather Make a Rule Than Fix a Problem
Toys Banned from Happy Meals
So the story linked above has gotten a lot of attention lately. It's not the first time that something like this has happened. Basically, to encourage healthier eating habits in Americans, the City Council of San Francisco has banned toys in meals from restaurants that don't meet certain health standards. Don't get me wrong...I think that we're incredibly unhealthy as a country, we need to change our eating habits, etc. All that jazz. But this is like when the city of New York banned trans fats at all fast food restaurants. Yes trans fats are terrible and yes kid's meals are often terrible for you. But I have a HUGE issue with policies like this:
When did we decide that you should just make a rule, a law, an ordinance that prevents everyone from partaking in something because some people are making poor choices, while others are making good ones?
This example is a controversial one, but to me, it's evidence of a problem that teaching middle school highlighted for me. There is no such thing as personal responsibility any more. If you asked a child what this means, they would have no fucking clue. If you asked many young adults, once again, no idea. I think that personal responsibility has been abandoned in favor of rules to follow like the one above.
Instead of teaching people that if you eat unhealthy foods your entire life, you will get fat and have heart disease and diabetes and die, we say "happy meals are bad and can't be sold." This means that if you were like me as a kid, and you weren't fat and you ate healthy foods 80% of the time, and you went to get happy meals as a treat, because it's okay to treat yourself to unhealthy yet delicious food that comes with a toy occasionally, that's over. That's not okay, because of a stupid ordinance that someone passed that does nothing to fix a problem.
Instead of teaching kids the value of being on time to class and having respect for other people around them, we have bizarre systems of behavior in the hallways of our schools, where people have to march in lines and make no noise and be policed for 100% of their lives at school. Then, if a teacher isn't policing because THEY have no sense of personal responsibility, the kids start to act like monkeys and show up for class 10 minutes late.
Have you noticed that left turn "yield on green" lights have disappeared? That's because apparently no one is smart enough to use these systems of lights. No one is responsible enough to drive responsibly! Oh, wait! I am! You are! Too bad, you don't have a choice, anymore.
I realize all these are just little examples, that cities and states are allowed to pass ordinances as they choose. But I feel like they are all small parts of a large whole. Our lives have become a set of rules to follow, and I think this is why no one thinks the rules apply to them. People can't distinguish between what is important and what is just shit for them to do. I don't know, I just have a huge issue with this system. It doesn't work.
So the story linked above has gotten a lot of attention lately. It's not the first time that something like this has happened. Basically, to encourage healthier eating habits in Americans, the City Council of San Francisco has banned toys in meals from restaurants that don't meet certain health standards. Don't get me wrong...I think that we're incredibly unhealthy as a country, we need to change our eating habits, etc. All that jazz. But this is like when the city of New York banned trans fats at all fast food restaurants. Yes trans fats are terrible and yes kid's meals are often terrible for you. But I have a HUGE issue with policies like this:
When did we decide that you should just make a rule, a law, an ordinance that prevents everyone from partaking in something because some people are making poor choices, while others are making good ones?
This example is a controversial one, but to me, it's evidence of a problem that teaching middle school highlighted for me. There is no such thing as personal responsibility any more. If you asked a child what this means, they would have no fucking clue. If you asked many young adults, once again, no idea. I think that personal responsibility has been abandoned in favor of rules to follow like the one above.
Instead of teaching people that if you eat unhealthy foods your entire life, you will get fat and have heart disease and diabetes and die, we say "happy meals are bad and can't be sold." This means that if you were like me as a kid, and you weren't fat and you ate healthy foods 80% of the time, and you went to get happy meals as a treat, because it's okay to treat yourself to unhealthy yet delicious food that comes with a toy occasionally, that's over. That's not okay, because of a stupid ordinance that someone passed that does nothing to fix a problem.
Instead of teaching kids the value of being on time to class and having respect for other people around them, we have bizarre systems of behavior in the hallways of our schools, where people have to march in lines and make no noise and be policed for 100% of their lives at school. Then, if a teacher isn't policing because THEY have no sense of personal responsibility, the kids start to act like monkeys and show up for class 10 minutes late.
Have you noticed that left turn "yield on green" lights have disappeared? That's because apparently no one is smart enough to use these systems of lights. No one is responsible enough to drive responsibly! Oh, wait! I am! You are! Too bad, you don't have a choice, anymore.
I realize all these are just little examples, that cities and states are allowed to pass ordinances as they choose. But I feel like they are all small parts of a large whole. Our lives have become a set of rules to follow, and I think this is why no one thinks the rules apply to them. People can't distinguish between what is important and what is just shit for them to do. I don't know, I just have a huge issue with this system. It doesn't work.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
I hate to turn this blog into a list of facebook status updates
...but this one is just too hilarious.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Punishment
I saw this on facebook this morning, and thought it was bizarre. That being said, I have no kids, so who knows what in the hell I'll be doing. On that note, I grew up with person #4, and she is a VERY intelligent person who I am sure is a great parent (note how she gives 2 actual suggestions without bringing in politics and religion or saying questionable things).
Person #1 PARENTS: I need your help...
Our precious Ellie is now 14 months old. We are trying to come up with creative ways to discipline her as her sin-nature is becoming more evident. With Josh at this age we usually popped his hand or occasionally his bottom, but since she's a foster daughter, we can't use any corporal punishment...any ideas?
18 hours ago · Comment · Like
Person #2: What is she doing??? I know i dont have children but my oldest sister uses the "time out", sitting in one spot.... i think it works good with one of the twins, the other doesnt care to much. She started this when they were really young....
17 hours ago · Like
Person #3: put her in time out or the playpen if she still uses one with no toys etc. DO NOT use the crib. This is for sleep and it will confuss her. In the playpen if you remove the toys and tell her, she will cry, but willlearn. When it is playtime the toys will be in there with her.
17 hours ago · Like
Person #4: I use time-out. The suggestion I read was one minute of time-out for however many years old they are, so it would be just one minute for Ellie. I know every child is different, but I was amazed how well it worked for my daughter. I'm trying to remember what it was like at 14 months old . . . does she still sleep in a crib? If so, I used the crib for time-out--I didn't even close the door or anything, I just told her "no," made sure she knew what it was for, and then put her in the crib (told her "time out") and left the room for 1 minute, then came back and got her out. It might sound simple or silly, but it really worked well for us. Now that she is 3 years old, she gets 3 minutes in her room with the door closed for time out.
17 hours ago · Like
Person #4: (I posted my comment before the one above it showed up for me--the one that mentioned not using the crib. Just wanted to clarify that I was not trying to contradict anyone. We don't have a playpen, but that would obviously work well if you do.)
17 hours ago · Like
Person #5: sounds like you have some good advice here. try reading the babywise books too. if that doesn't work, forget corporal punishment & cut off her hand, cut out her eye or whatever....HA!!!
17 hours ago · Like
Person #3: I like the above comment. We just wore their little bottoms out. The BIBLE says SO!!!!!!
17 hours ago · Like · 1 person
Person #6: We don't spank so our current method of discipline is mainly teaching, distracting her with something else, and repeating what we want her to do (and not do lol) over and over and over...lol Some days I feel like a broken record but I know that, at her age, it's what is needed right now. She's learning. :)
17 hours ago · Like
Person #2: My sisters twins are 2 1/2 , they've been doing time out and she disciplines them with sometihng they like... gum or a piece of chocolate. Im sure if she can do time out with 2 you can get Ellie to stick with it.
17 hours ago · Like
Person #7: We used the crib with the boys...she will know the difference between sleeping and "time-out" regardless of where it is...crib or playpen...as you do/say different things for sleeptime or time out....this works really well if she's a social baby, but not so well if she likes to be alone. A firm "NO" was sometimes all G needed...or that plus the crib/playpen. Babywise is good too...I have the second one (for 5-15 months) if you want to borrow it. We also used the bottom for the boys, but I know you can't do that with Ellie....
17 hours ago · Like
Person #8: hates being separated from the action so the threat of timeout in her room usually makes her stop whatever misbehavior she's doing, although she's so strong-willed that she may do it again in a few minutes which is where the dreadfully difficult "consistency" comes into play. If its something they fight over then I take the toy/whatever away. Plus I make sure to praise her bigtime as much as I can when she's good or does something nice.
17 hours ago · Like
Person #9: I agree with Sarah, we used the drib for timeout with dylan and they are not stupid they know they know the difference. It worked with Dylan because the only thing that affected him was isolation. he hated it!
17 hours ago · Like · 1 person
Person #9: ...actually we used the crib not the drib
17 hours ago · Like
Person #4: Oh yeah, another thing we do sometimes if time-out isn't working (my girl can be as stubborn as me!) is to take away a toy and put it up high--usually where she can see it, but not where she would be tempted to try (dangerously) to climb up and get it. Then we keep an eye out for her doing something good and tell her she can have it back for being good.
17 hours ago · Like
Person #10: Uhhhh duhhhh...bring her to Nana's...LOL! Love you sweetie!
17 hours ago · Like
Person #11: Ella gets put in the naughty corner--she hates isolation, she is am amiable personality like her mama, after all. lol
17 hours ago · Like · 1 person
Person #12: Use the "naughty spot" like on Super Nanny and make sure you say it in an English accent. Buy a cheap piece of red cardboard at the store and draw a sad face on it. Put it somewhere semi-isolated and maybe you could have like three little yellow sad faces and give her one for misbehavior and then if she gets three she goes to the naughty spot? On the flip side, have three happy faces and a treat if she earns them. Just throwing ideas out...
16 hours ago · Like
Person #13: I think Time-Out is probably your best bet. And personally, I disagree with doing it in their rooms/crib. My reason for that is b/c my boys go to their rooms to play and their beds to sleep, not to be punished. Again, just my opinion. I like the idea of making your own little "naughty spot" rug. And if you use the English accent, can I come over and watch? :)
16 hours ago · Like · 1 person
Person #1: Thanks for all the suggestions..we're trying time-out in the hall...we'll see how it goes...it's just so hard to not pop that little hand...It's usually her getting in trouble for touching things she's not suppose to...we'll see how it goes...
Cara, if I break out the British accent, I'll let you know! Haha!
11 hours ago · Like
A few thoughts:
1. If said child is so precious, then why is it "so hard" to not hit her?
2. I think it's funny that someone jokingly said to cut her hand off, and then another person then said immediately "I agree, corporal punishment is good because it's in the Bible."
3. I like it when the person said "we use the crib, MY kids are smart enough that they know the difference between sleeping and punishment." I hope that she was implying that the other people's kids were stupid, and if so, I agree.
Person #1 PARENTS: I need your help...
Our precious Ellie is now 14 months old. We are trying to come up with creative ways to discipline her as her sin-nature is becoming more evident. With Josh at this age we usually popped his hand or occasionally his bottom, but since she's a foster daughter, we can't use any corporal punishment...any ideas?
18 hours ago · Comment · Like
Person #2: What is she doing??? I know i dont have children but my oldest sister uses the "time out", sitting in one spot.... i think it works good with one of the twins, the other doesnt care to much. She started this when they were really young....
17 hours ago · Like
Person #3: put her in time out or the playpen if she still uses one with no toys etc. DO NOT use the crib. This is for sleep and it will confuss her. In the playpen if you remove the toys and tell her, she will cry, but willlearn. When it is playtime the toys will be in there with her.
17 hours ago · Like
Person #4: I use time-out. The suggestion I read was one minute of time-out for however many years old they are, so it would be just one minute for Ellie. I know every child is different, but I was amazed how well it worked for my daughter. I'm trying to remember what it was like at 14 months old . . . does she still sleep in a crib? If so, I used the crib for time-out--I didn't even close the door or anything, I just told her "no," made sure she knew what it was for, and then put her in the crib (told her "time out") and left the room for 1 minute, then came back and got her out. It might sound simple or silly, but it really worked well for us. Now that she is 3 years old, she gets 3 minutes in her room with the door closed for time out.
17 hours ago · Like
Person #4: (I posted my comment before the one above it showed up for me--the one that mentioned not using the crib. Just wanted to clarify that I was not trying to contradict anyone. We don't have a playpen, but that would obviously work well if you do.)
17 hours ago · Like
Person #5: sounds like you have some good advice here. try reading the babywise books too. if that doesn't work, forget corporal punishment & cut off her hand, cut out her eye or whatever....HA!!!
17 hours ago · Like
Person #3: I like the above comment. We just wore their little bottoms out. The BIBLE says SO!!!!!!
17 hours ago · Like · 1 person
Person #6: We don't spank so our current method of discipline is mainly teaching, distracting her with something else, and repeating what we want her to do (and not do lol) over and over and over...lol Some days I feel like a broken record but I know that, at her age, it's what is needed right now. She's learning. :)
17 hours ago · Like
Person #2: My sisters twins are 2 1/2 , they've been doing time out and she disciplines them with sometihng they like... gum or a piece of chocolate. Im sure if she can do time out with 2 you can get Ellie to stick with it.
17 hours ago · Like
Person #7: We used the crib with the boys...she will know the difference between sleeping and "time-out" regardless of where it is...crib or playpen...as you do/say different things for sleeptime or time out....this works really well if she's a social baby, but not so well if she likes to be alone. A firm "NO" was sometimes all G needed...or that plus the crib/playpen. Babywise is good too...I have the second one (for 5-15 months) if you want to borrow it. We also used the bottom for the boys, but I know you can't do that with Ellie....
17 hours ago · Like
Person #8: hates being separated from the action so the threat of timeout in her room usually makes her stop whatever misbehavior she's doing, although she's so strong-willed that she may do it again in a few minutes which is where the dreadfully difficult "consistency" comes into play. If its something they fight over then I take the toy/whatever away. Plus I make sure to praise her bigtime as much as I can when she's good or does something nice.
17 hours ago · Like
Person #9: I agree with Sarah, we used the drib for timeout with dylan and they are not stupid they know they know the difference. It worked with Dylan because the only thing that affected him was isolation. he hated it!
17 hours ago · Like · 1 person
Person #9: ...actually we used the crib not the drib
17 hours ago · Like
Person #4: Oh yeah, another thing we do sometimes if time-out isn't working (my girl can be as stubborn as me!) is to take away a toy and put it up high--usually where she can see it, but not where she would be tempted to try (dangerously) to climb up and get it. Then we keep an eye out for her doing something good and tell her she can have it back for being good.
17 hours ago · Like
Person #10: Uhhhh duhhhh...bring her to Nana's...LOL! Love you sweetie!
17 hours ago · Like
Person #11: Ella gets put in the naughty corner--she hates isolation, she is am amiable personality like her mama, after all. lol
17 hours ago · Like · 1 person
Person #12: Use the "naughty spot" like on Super Nanny and make sure you say it in an English accent. Buy a cheap piece of red cardboard at the store and draw a sad face on it. Put it somewhere semi-isolated and maybe you could have like three little yellow sad faces and give her one for misbehavior and then if she gets three she goes to the naughty spot? On the flip side, have three happy faces and a treat if she earns them. Just throwing ideas out...
16 hours ago · Like
Person #13: I think Time-Out is probably your best bet. And personally, I disagree with doing it in their rooms/crib. My reason for that is b/c my boys go to their rooms to play and their beds to sleep, not to be punished. Again, just my opinion. I like the idea of making your own little "naughty spot" rug. And if you use the English accent, can I come over and watch? :)
16 hours ago · Like · 1 person
Person #1: Thanks for all the suggestions..we're trying time-out in the hall...we'll see how it goes...it's just so hard to not pop that little hand...It's usually her getting in trouble for touching things she's not suppose to...we'll see how it goes...
Cara, if I break out the British accent, I'll let you know! Haha!
11 hours ago · Like
A few thoughts:
1. If said child is so precious, then why is it "so hard" to not hit her?
2. I think it's funny that someone jokingly said to cut her hand off, and then another person then said immediately "I agree, corporal punishment is good because it's in the Bible."
3. I like it when the person said "we use the crib, MY kids are smart enough that they know the difference between sleeping and punishment." I hope that she was implying that the other people's kids were stupid, and if so, I agree.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Bills
So, I got a bill in the mail the other day from a company whose services I require. This bill said I was past due on my payments, which aren't made at a monthly interval. The company sends me a bill, and I pay the bill. Promptly and on time. I had to laugh when I looked at the information in the following boxes:
Dute Date: 10/01/2010
Date Billed: 10/10/2010
How am I supposed to pay a bill that I haven't been billed?
Chris has a similar experience with renter's insurance. Basically, they just send him a past due notice every month instead of a bill. Of course, he pays the bill, and he pays it on time.
Are these places just out of stationery for people who pay shit when they're supposed to? Do they get to use that stuff so infrequently that they've forgotten it exists?
Dute Date: 10/01/2010
Date Billed: 10/10/2010
How am I supposed to pay a bill that I haven't been billed?
Chris has a similar experience with renter's insurance. Basically, they just send him a past due notice every month instead of a bill. Of course, he pays the bill, and he pays it on time.
Are these places just out of stationery for people who pay shit when they're supposed to? Do they get to use that stuff so infrequently that they've forgotten it exists?
Thursday, October 7, 2010
News Idiots
I was watching the Today Show this morning. There is a story about a girl who goes to Duke. She slept with a bunch of athletes, and then made a professional-grade PowerPoint about how good or bad the guys were in bed. She emailed it to her friends, and then it spread like wildfire.
Now, some of you might think that the girl in the story is an idiot. I don't know that she is. I think that idiots are the people at the Today Show who think that a college student being slutty and everyone finding out is a news story. They had on some expert who talked about how everyone should "start early" talking to their children about sex and the dangers of the internet.
Really? This girl is a college graduate, not a 15-year-old. If she wants to be in porn or be a stripper, she can. If she wants to have sex with all kinds of football players and the infamous Duke Lacrosse team, she can. In the words of Britney Spears, that's her prerogative. If she wants to make a funny PowePoint about it "didn't last very long," kudos to her.
The Biggest Idiot of All was the "internet safety advocate" that they interviewed. She went on and on about the dangers of posting things online. "Everyone will know!" "Young children don't know what they're doing to themselves when they put things online!" The kicker for me was when Meredith Viera pointed out that this is the type of thing that frat guys do all the time. This "expert" said something along the lines of yes men might do it, but "women have lost all their modesty this days." Double standard there much? Can we please get past the boys will be boys mentality? Girls wanna be slutty, too!
Now throw in the fact that most people would have never heard this story if it hadn't been broadcast on the biggest news show in the country, and you have a bunch of idiots.
Here's the story.
Now, some of you might think that the girl in the story is an idiot. I don't know that she is. I think that idiots are the people at the Today Show who think that a college student being slutty and everyone finding out is a news story. They had on some expert who talked about how everyone should "start early" talking to their children about sex and the dangers of the internet.
Really? This girl is a college graduate, not a 15-year-old. If she wants to be in porn or be a stripper, she can. If she wants to have sex with all kinds of football players and the infamous Duke Lacrosse team, she can. In the words of Britney Spears, that's her prerogative. If she wants to make a funny PowePoint about it "didn't last very long," kudos to her.
The Biggest Idiot of All was the "internet safety advocate" that they interviewed. She went on and on about the dangers of posting things online. "Everyone will know!" "Young children don't know what they're doing to themselves when they put things online!" The kicker for me was when Meredith Viera pointed out that this is the type of thing that frat guys do all the time. This "expert" said something along the lines of yes men might do it, but "women have lost all their modesty this days." Double standard there much? Can we please get past the boys will be boys mentality? Girls wanna be slutty, too!
Now throw in the fact that most people would have never heard this story if it hadn't been broadcast on the biggest news show in the country, and you have a bunch of idiots.
Here's the story.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Simple Arithmetic
I went for a nice long bike ride on Saturday and stopped in a town called Alvarado, VA. I was looking for some water after I did a very graceful front flip off of my bike and landed on my camelbak causing 3L of water to run down my back...There was a very nice old man sitting on the front porch and he said
"Where you coming from?"
"Whitetop, VA."
"How far is that?"
"Not sure"
"Let me find a map." He went to look for a map and meanwhile I saw one posted on the window. I was on a trail and Alvarado is at Mile Marker 9. Whitetop is at mile marker 34. Hmm...how far away am I?
"Well here's a map I rustled up of this here trail. It looks like Alvarado here is around mile marker 9 and that Whitetop is all the way at mile marker 34. So if you went to Damascus it would be about 8 miles, then you'd head up to here which would be 10 more miles and then you'd head on to Whitetop which looks like it would be about 6 or so miles. So that's 8 and 10 and hmmm...yeah I'd say you'd be about 20 something miles away."
Thanks. I had figured 34-9 about 5 minutes ago. He was a nice enough guy and normally I would be nicer, but he never let me have any water either.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
“Pennies” damn it!
Many people at my school, faculty, students and parents, try to find ways to help others. It seems some group is always promoting some campaign to raise money, donate food or collect books for a worthy cause. I think that is a great thing.
What is not a great thing, is having gross spelling errors on campaign posters. You see, there is a penny drive going on to raise money for some charity. Students from various classes have made posters to put up in the hallways to encourage everyone to bring their pennies to school. Walking down two main hallways full of these posters, I don’t think I’ve seen the word penny pluralized correctly on any of them. I’ve seen penny’s, penneys, pennys and penney’s. I have also seen you’re and your both spelled ur various times. To be fair, someone has gone back, in pencil, to try to correct some of the ur sightings by adding yo- to the beginnings. But when the rest of the poster is in marker, a thin pencil correction cannot be seen unless you are standing directly in front of the damn thing. NOTHING has been done about the failed attempts at pluralizing penny.
My question is, who the fuck allowed these posters on the hallways of a SCHOOL? Let’s conveniently ignore the fact that middle school students should be able to spell the aforementioned words correctly. Where are the adults who allowed the posters on the wall? Why didn’t they make the students correct them? What do they think literate visitors to our school will think?
I know I have high expectations and standards that can sometimes be a little too high, but is it so much to ask that a few basic words be fucking spelled correctly? Sheesh, what profession am I in again?
Friday, October 1, 2010
Follow Up: Idiots Who Can't Shut Up About Their Children
Megan, I knew that there were a lot of parenting blogs. But I just clicked "next blog" 17 times, only to find baby blog after baby blog after baby blog. Same story, different names. However, on the 18th "next blog," I finally found something interesting.
Here's the About Me: From San Diego, California living in New York City. Thirty-one year old HIV+ gay Mormon/LDS guy just living life and enjoying the journey. I believe some things, I hope for lots of things, I have endured many things, and definitely hope to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, I seek after these things...sometimes.
Scandalous! Sounds a lot more interesting that reading about how messy some lady's kid was as he ate his birthday cake, or "am i ready or not" for baby number two.
Baby Idiots
No...I'm not writing a post about how babies are idiots (although my dear husband's favorite thing to say after seeing a young child is that "babies are stupid"). I'm writing about how completely ridiculous some young parents can be.
Every morning, there is a TV show on TLC about new parents during the first few weeks raising their baby at home. This show, coupled with Teen Mom and the statuses of parents I know on facebook, has made me question who should be allowed to keep their children.
I'm not talking about the big things--these people manage to get food in their kids and put a roof over their heads. I'm talking about this growing notion that parents are owed something: a quiet, consistent baby, food delivered to them, hours and hours of sleep a day. The notion that a baby is an accessory, a trendy little thing that you use to express yourself.
I always grew up being taught that having a baby is HARD. The hardest thing a person would ever do, in fact! This is why women for hundreds of years have dedicated time to being stay-at-home moms. They do this, not because it is a luxury, because they want to be lazy, but because it was a necessity before modern conveniences. So I find it shocking (and in fact idiotic) when parents seem baffled for how difficult being a new mom is.
"WHAT?!?! When does my baby get on a schedule??!?!"
I've heard this both from a friend and from parents on TV. Your baby is on a schedule-its own. It will do whatever it wants for the first few months, and you can't do much about that. What type of person goes into child rearing thinking, "My baby will live on my schedule, not the other way around?!" Please. Why do you think parents don't sleep? Because their baby does what it wants, when it wants.
Baby Names
I know that parents want to let everyone know how badass and cool they are by naming their baby something unique and trendy. And I'm not talking about Lashauntaqueisha (LQ, anyone?). I'm talking about people who name their kids obscure Gaelic things, thinking that their kid will just be so much cooler than everyone else. Wrong! Your kid will be a nerd like you, and no one will ever be able to say or pronounce little Findabhair's name (I copied and pasted that from a baby name website, so don't accuse me of making it up). And then there are all the stupid last name first names: Parker, Carter, Campbell, Madison. Now, if this is your family's name, I get it. But it makes NO SENSE to name your kid after no one, does it?! No. I realize this a personal pet peeve of mine, and that everyone reading this blog will probably get pissed off. I don't give a shit. That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it. Because I'm right. Like I was right when I was the only woman in the world who thought "Grey's Anatomy" was shit.
Then there are the names that are only cute when you're a baby. Most recently, a friend of mine named her son Cayden. As my mom said, "that's a baby name." Not a grown man. A baby. Do you think little Cayden will grow up to be president? I don't. If he does, he'll go by C. Adam. And I won't even go into the other names that people thought were edgy 15 years ago and then stuck. Kaylas of this generation will be the Brittanys of mine.
Oh, and I almost forgot! The baby name category most growing in popularity! The grandma names! Chris and I jokingly say that we will name our firstborn after my Uncle Clovis. Now, don't get me wrong. I think that SOME old-fashioned names are very pretty/solid and probably should be put back on the market. I might even go crazy and try to name my baby after a dead relative. However, some names are just straight. up. ugly. Example: Gertrude. Say it out loud. Grrrr. Trude. Intrude? Rude? Gerber? I don't know. No positive connotations for me. Maybe I'm just closed-minded.
Now really, you can name your baby whatever the hell you want, and I won't actually care. If you like a name, then go for it. But don't, after you've chosen said name, act like you're so god damned clever for finding a name on a list. Unless you legitimately made up a a name yourself, with the starting materials of the letters of the alphabet, then you're just stealing someone else's work. And you probably picked a stupid name, anyway.
Stupid Life Principals for Babies
What made me decide to finally break out the stupid parenting blog was an episode of "Bringing Home Baby." The parents featured on this particular show are extreme environmentalists. And kudos to them. We should all do our part. They should feel free to use all the cloth diapers in the world. Buy your baby organic clothes that will fall apart the second time you wash them. That's your prerogative. But do you really think it's a great idea to raise a baby vegan? To give it no vaccines? To take out a 1-month old baby on the back of your bicycle? Just as it Jehovah's Witnesses who refuse to give their children blood transfusions, your extreme beliefs are probably going to end up biting your baby on the ass.
Yes, not giving your baby vaccines might mean it won't have autism (even though that idea has been completely debunked. As much as any scientific notion can be proved false, this stupid one has been. Vaccines do not cause austism. But that's another rant). But, anyway, I hope she doesn't contract German Measles, or you'll be up shit creek, and you refused the paddle in the name of trendy parenting.
And to be fair, this isn't just all about environmentalists and health nuts. Every type of extremist belief system applies. It could be having 19 kids due to religious reasons and not having time for anyone. It could be following a basketball team religiously and dressing your baby up only in your team's garb. It could be your own life-ruling germ phobia (that leads to your child be allergic to and sick from EVERYTHING). Anything taken the the nth degree will eventually lead to baby failure.
Over Parenting
Then there are the over-parents. I have a special distaste for these parents after my gifted middle school teaching experience. Some moms and dads, out of painfully misguided love, spend 100% of their time nurturing (a.k.a. smothering) their children. This is a sure-fire way to raise a spoiled asshole with a sense of entitelment. It's great that you care about your kid and all, but really, they kind of suck if you do this. I have a facebook friend who has two over-parented children. Apparently, this lady spends all her time making handmade clothing, food, and crafts for her kids. It's all she thinks about. And it's not like her kids look or act any better than other kids. It's not even like she's saving money. And you KNOW she's at her kids' school every day, driving teachers crazy. I'm sure she checks (a.k.a. does) their homework every night, and then complains to the teacher that she knew EVERYTHING when Mommy Dearest quizzed them on it the night before, so why did little Siobhan fail the test? It has to be the teacher's fault. She knows her child, and her five-year-old would never accidentally lose her homework on the bus. The teacher lost it. That's the only reasonable explanation.
The Under Parent
Then, on the other side of the spectrum, is the under parent. We've all had the unpleasant experience of meeting these parents' offspring in public. The ones, say, crawling under your table and poking their grubby fingers in your food at a Mexican restaurant (True story. Chris asked the little girl if she had ever been stabbed with a knife before.). Running down the aisles of Target pulling items off the shelf. Walking up to you, a stranger, while you're on a walk, asking if you've seen her puppy, he's been missing for nine months.
I encountered the most extreme version of this parent at a recent dinner party. An adult dinner party, no less (no, not THAT kind of adult dinner party). This lady, who definitely needed to spend all her time getting her own act together, of course was the proud parent of Eva. Little Miss Eva was raised under the pretense that children should never be punished; they inherently know that they should do the right thing and have to learn to make positive decisions on their own. Now that all sounds great, but really, it's just a giant crock of shit. Evidence: Eva.
Eva spend the first chunk of the evening playing with her mom's iphone. Not so bad. But when that got old, she took off all of her clothes and then starting pounding her butt as hard as she could on the ground, the couch, and her mom's purse. With each bump, she let out a cry louder than the one before. Then, she started running around, eyes at coffee table corner level. Everyone in the room, except for her mom, apparently, was worried that she would cause bodily harm to herself. Mom never seemed to notice. In fact, mom was so out of it, that when she left, she didn't have her shoes on. She never noticed: someone else at the party said "Whose shoes are these?" Process of elimination led us to Eva's mom.
After Eva and Company left, we discussed the parenting skills in her life further. Eva, at the ripe old age of two, had already had an extremely traumatic and life-changing experience. One of her eyes had to be removed because a dog attacked it. Apparently it was the family dog. Now my greatest fear is that if we have a kid, that our dog will attack it. This is why we have no kids. We're just going to have to wait for Cash Money to die. But really? You put your one-year-old in a playpen with a dog and leave it unattended? I can't help but think that this tragic accident could have been avoided by being a little bit more involved in your child's life.
Well...That's my rant for today. I didn't expect this blog to take me over an hour to write. And I know that someday, I'll be a parent, too, and I'll do things that will make people think I'm a straight up idiot. And that's their prerogative. But for now, it's my turn. Stop being idiotic so that your kids don't have to be idiots, too.
Then there are the names that are only cute when you're a baby. Most recently, a friend of mine named her son Cayden. As my mom said, "that's a baby name." Not a grown man. A baby. Do you think little Cayden will grow up to be president? I don't. If he does, he'll go by C. Adam. And I won't even go into the other names that people thought were edgy 15 years ago and then stuck. Kaylas of this generation will be the Brittanys of mine.
Oh, and I almost forgot! The baby name category most growing in popularity! The grandma names! Chris and I jokingly say that we will name our firstborn after my Uncle Clovis. Now, don't get me wrong. I think that SOME old-fashioned names are very pretty/solid and probably should be put back on the market. I might even go crazy and try to name my baby after a dead relative. However, some names are just straight. up. ugly. Example: Gertrude. Say it out loud. Grrrr. Trude. Intrude? Rude? Gerber? I don't know. No positive connotations for me. Maybe I'm just closed-minded.
Now really, you can name your baby whatever the hell you want, and I won't actually care. If you like a name, then go for it. But don't, after you've chosen said name, act like you're so god damned clever for finding a name on a list. Unless you legitimately made up a a name yourself, with the starting materials of the letters of the alphabet, then you're just stealing someone else's work. And you probably picked a stupid name, anyway.
Stupid Life Principals for Babies
What made me decide to finally break out the stupid parenting blog was an episode of "Bringing Home Baby." The parents featured on this particular show are extreme environmentalists. And kudos to them. We should all do our part. They should feel free to use all the cloth diapers in the world. Buy your baby organic clothes that will fall apart the second time you wash them. That's your prerogative. But do you really think it's a great idea to raise a baby vegan? To give it no vaccines? To take out a 1-month old baby on the back of your bicycle? Just as it Jehovah's Witnesses who refuse to give their children blood transfusions, your extreme beliefs are probably going to end up biting your baby on the ass.
Yes, not giving your baby vaccines might mean it won't have autism (even though that idea has been completely debunked. As much as any scientific notion can be proved false, this stupid one has been. Vaccines do not cause austism. But that's another rant). But, anyway, I hope she doesn't contract German Measles, or you'll be up shit creek, and you refused the paddle in the name of trendy parenting.
And to be fair, this isn't just all about environmentalists and health nuts. Every type of extremist belief system applies. It could be having 19 kids due to religious reasons and not having time for anyone. It could be following a basketball team religiously and dressing your baby up only in your team's garb. It could be your own life-ruling germ phobia (that leads to your child be allergic to and sick from EVERYTHING). Anything taken the the nth degree will eventually lead to baby failure.
Over Parenting
Then there are the over-parents. I have a special distaste for these parents after my gifted middle school teaching experience. Some moms and dads, out of painfully misguided love, spend 100% of their time nurturing (a.k.a. smothering) their children. This is a sure-fire way to raise a spoiled asshole with a sense of entitelment. It's great that you care about your kid and all, but really, they kind of suck if you do this. I have a facebook friend who has two over-parented children. Apparently, this lady spends all her time making handmade clothing, food, and crafts for her kids. It's all she thinks about. And it's not like her kids look or act any better than other kids. It's not even like she's saving money. And you KNOW she's at her kids' school every day, driving teachers crazy. I'm sure she checks (a.k.a. does) their homework every night, and then complains to the teacher that she knew EVERYTHING when Mommy Dearest quizzed them on it the night before, so why did little Siobhan fail the test? It has to be the teacher's fault. She knows her child, and her five-year-old would never accidentally lose her homework on the bus. The teacher lost it. That's the only reasonable explanation.
The Under Parent
Then, on the other side of the spectrum, is the under parent. We've all had the unpleasant experience of meeting these parents' offspring in public. The ones, say, crawling under your table and poking their grubby fingers in your food at a Mexican restaurant (True story. Chris asked the little girl if she had ever been stabbed with a knife before.). Running down the aisles of Target pulling items off the shelf. Walking up to you, a stranger, while you're on a walk, asking if you've seen her puppy, he's been missing for nine months.
I encountered the most extreme version of this parent at a recent dinner party. An adult dinner party, no less (no, not THAT kind of adult dinner party). This lady, who definitely needed to spend all her time getting her own act together, of course was the proud parent of Eva. Little Miss Eva was raised under the pretense that children should never be punished; they inherently know that they should do the right thing and have to learn to make positive decisions on their own. Now that all sounds great, but really, it's just a giant crock of shit. Evidence: Eva.
Eva spend the first chunk of the evening playing with her mom's iphone. Not so bad. But when that got old, she took off all of her clothes and then starting pounding her butt as hard as she could on the ground, the couch, and her mom's purse. With each bump, she let out a cry louder than the one before. Then, she started running around, eyes at coffee table corner level. Everyone in the room, except for her mom, apparently, was worried that she would cause bodily harm to herself. Mom never seemed to notice. In fact, mom was so out of it, that when she left, she didn't have her shoes on. She never noticed: someone else at the party said "Whose shoes are these?" Process of elimination led us to Eva's mom.
After Eva and Company left, we discussed the parenting skills in her life further. Eva, at the ripe old age of two, had already had an extremely traumatic and life-changing experience. One of her eyes had to be removed because a dog attacked it. Apparently it was the family dog. Now my greatest fear is that if we have a kid, that our dog will attack it. This is why we have no kids. We're just going to have to wait for Cash Money to die. But really? You put your one-year-old in a playpen with a dog and leave it unattended? I can't help but think that this tragic accident could have been avoided by being a little bit more involved in your child's life.
Well...That's my rant for today. I didn't expect this blog to take me over an hour to write. And I know that someday, I'll be a parent, too, and I'll do things that will make people think I'm a straight up idiot. And that's their prerogative. But for now, it's my turn. Stop being idiotic so that your kids don't have to be idiots, too.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Are you Swans???
So we have my dad to thank for this blog...
Dad will retire this Christmas from UPS. He's been delivering packages for over 30 years. While I appreciate UPS, they helped me pay for college and kept me in glasses/contacts, but I could NEVER do that. Anyways, I was talking to Dad on my way home from work, when he said, "Hold on just a second." He came back on the phone laughing, I could see him rolling his eyes in my head, lamenting how stupid people were. I asked him what happened...
"I dropped off the package, rang the doorbell and left. The lady came to the door and yelled, Are you Swan? (Do you know them? They deliver food to people.) I said, No UPS. Then she said, well what is this? To which I replied, I have no idea.... What is she thinking? I didn't order the package, I didn't ship it, I have NO idea what's in it. Then the stupid lady let the dogs out, she was talking to me and she let the dogs out!! They came running up to me, I just stuck my foot out. The dumb dog rang into it. I didn't kick it mind you, I just stuck my foot out."
I said, "ohh dad, welcome to my world, I probably teach this woman's child!"
Dad will retire this Christmas from UPS. He's been delivering packages for over 30 years. While I appreciate UPS, they helped me pay for college and kept me in glasses/contacts, but I could NEVER do that. Anyways, I was talking to Dad on my way home from work, when he said, "Hold on just a second." He came back on the phone laughing, I could see him rolling his eyes in my head, lamenting how stupid people were. I asked him what happened...
"I dropped off the package, rang the doorbell and left. The lady came to the door and yelled, Are you Swan? (Do you know them? They deliver food to people.) I said, No UPS. Then she said, well what is this? To which I replied, I have no idea.... What is she thinking? I didn't order the package, I didn't ship it, I have NO idea what's in it. Then the stupid lady let the dogs out, she was talking to me and she let the dogs out!! They came running up to me, I just stuck my foot out. The dumb dog rang into it. I didn't kick it mind you, I just stuck my foot out."
I said, "ohh dad, welcome to my world, I probably teach this woman's child!"
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Status updates continued
I have lots of friends on facebook that I've never met and don't even know. I used to ignore friend requests from people I didn't know, but everyone told me that I was just plain mean. So in the spirit of friendliness, I am now friends with about 250 all star citizens that went to the same high school I did. One of these special people must have an extremely shitty life. Every day her status updates are in all capital letters, entirely misspelled and read something like "MY LIF SUKS OH AHHHH F ME MY BABY IS SICK AND MY HED HRTZ AHHH KILL ME NOW." Which is kind of funny to read. Today she had a status update that I don't think needs much commentary. It is pretty amazing.
I hate today... STRESSED THE HELL OUT!! IT REALLY REALLY SUCKS. AND WHEN IM STRESSED OUT I EAT HEINZ 57 JUST THE SAUCE.. HEARTBURN IS AWFUL ESPECIALLY WITH A HYATIL HYRNIA.... UGGGGGGGGGHHH
hahahaha...Heinz 57 as a coping mechanism. This explains a lot.
hahahaha...Heinz 57 as a coping mechanism. This explains a lot.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Idiots Who Don’t Know How to Run an Election
I teach at a school. This evening, I received an email alerting staff that there will be a Google Doc up for students to vote for candidates in the 1st round of the upcoming student council elections, in hopes of narrowing down the field in preparation for the real campaign in about a week. This email asks teachers to allow students to vote during homeroom (first thing in the morning) or during the very last period of the day.
….
The email had a helpful note asking teachers to watch for duplicate votes.
….
Ok, let’s think about this.
- The document has no way for students to input their name or student number.
- Most students will not have the same teacher for both homeroom and their last period.
- There is no reasonable way for the last period teacher to know if any of their students voted during homeroom.
- During any one class period, a teacher may not be able to assure that a student votes only once unless the teacher himself is standing over said computer.
The result? Some students don’t vote at all (neither teacher gives students a chance to vote, supposing they have an opportunity in the other class) while others vote two or more times. In the words of Mrs. Cheeky, “great plan.”
To be fair, perhaps the faculty sponsors of this 1st round of elections are well aware of this potential voting issue and don’t give a fuck because they only want to narrow down the field with (some) student input for the campaign a week down the road. Still, not explaining this in the email makes it sound like they did not consider this (i.e. they are complete dumbasses).
Oh well, not my problem.
Dumbass know-it-all bitches who add -ay to their names
Mrs. Lowe has already written a post about this girl in my program, a second year student, who thinks she knows everything, who ruined an otherwise lovely meal among friends, and who inexplicably adds "-ay" to the end of her name on Facebook.
On Thursday, I had the opportunity to witness part of a group meeting involving Ms. Ay and two of her colleagues in the graduate student lounge. What I witnessed was Ms. Ay dominating the conversation - but she wasn't even talking about the project they were working on. Instead, she spent most of her time analyzing her self, the group, and the class, talking about how long she thought everything would take and what other people would think of their presentation. While I was there, the group never once worked on the actual content of the presentation, so I can pretty much guess what her classmates thought of it.
Today, the group was back, obviously because they got nothing done during their meeting last week. I did not pay too much attention to who was talking and what about - though I really wanted to - but I did hear her annoying voice quite a bit. Once her meeting was over, one of the first year students, also sitting in the lounge, noticed he had a missed call from earlier.
"Oh, you guys still have friends who aren't in the program? HAHA!" Ms. Ay said in her normal know-it-all, condescending even though she's a moron tone. "MY first semester, I talked to my friends ALL THE TIME, and I realized I was doing that TOO MUCH, so now I don't talk to them ANYMORE, AAAHAHAHAHA!"
PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP. AND YOU BETTER NOT COME TO MY PARTY.
On Thursday, I had the opportunity to witness part of a group meeting involving Ms. Ay and two of her colleagues in the graduate student lounge. What I witnessed was Ms. Ay dominating the conversation - but she wasn't even talking about the project they were working on. Instead, she spent most of her time analyzing her self, the group, and the class, talking about how long she thought everything would take and what other people would think of their presentation. While I was there, the group never once worked on the actual content of the presentation, so I can pretty much guess what her classmates thought of it.
Today, the group was back, obviously because they got nothing done during their meeting last week. I did not pay too much attention to who was talking and what about - though I really wanted to - but I did hear her annoying voice quite a bit. Once her meeting was over, one of the first year students, also sitting in the lounge, noticed he had a missed call from earlier.
"Oh, you guys still have friends who aren't in the program? HAHA!" Ms. Ay said in her normal know-it-all, condescending even though she's a moron tone. "MY first semester, I talked to my friends ALL THE TIME, and I realized I was doing that TOO MUCH, so now I don't talk to them ANYMORE, AAAHAHAHAHA!"
PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP. AND YOU BETTER NOT COME TO MY PARTY.
Idiots I've Never Met
So, as a part of my job, I'm supposed to help prepare for an Anatomy and Physiology class that meets in the evenings. This means that I get supplies ready to go for the students, pull out any models, notes, answer keys, or anything else that the instructor wants. Piece of cake, right? Well, it is. But as easy at this could be, there is something that constantly irritates me about this. What, you might ask? Well. I have a growing suspicion that that lady teaching the A&P class is, well, an idiot.
Now, before you read this--I know this isn't a big deal. I know it's something that shouldn't bother me at all. But it does, because I hate it when people ignore simple logic.
So, this lab that I'm in charge of is a fairly simple setup. There is a classroom portion with lab tables, etc, plus all the big equipment, and a lab prep room where the chemicals, office supplies, and other "instructor only" stuff is stored.
So Mrs. A&P, we'll call her, needed some things set up last Monday...models and keys to the models. Because I don't like to leave stuff just sitting out in the open in the student-used classroom, I put the answer keys in a bin labeled "Anatomy and Physiology" that I created. This was placed in the office area of the lab prep room, so that student can't come in and steal the answers to their labs. I emailed this lady with very specific instructions as to what was where. She sent me a short email reply telling me about how she couldn't get into that room. Now, at the time, I thought this was odd, since she leaves things in there for me to clean up every single day. But I didn't spend too much time dwelling on it. She said it is always locked when she comes in, and it is a hassle to find someone to open it for her.
After I started thinking about this, I got frustrated. As I said above, she leaves me dirty animal dissection trays with water, formaldehyde, and rusting scalpels and pins in them all the time. Why couldn't she get in there? Also, the key to the classroom is the same as the key to the prep room. Because I thought maybe she hadn't noticed this, I sent her an email to let her know that in case she needs something in case of emergency, that she can get in there using whatever key she gets into the classroom with. Then I forgot about it.
Until she emailed me back. She sent back a rude reply that told me that the classroom is always open when she comes in, so to please put her stuff in the classroom, not the lab prep room. Now, this frustrates me for a few different reasons:
I left the dirty trays in the sink and put the brains with dura mater in the bucket and the others on one tray in the fridge (wasn't sure where they needed to go)....they will need those again next thursday.
I will send you a list today (maybe over the weekend, but defn by monday moring) for monday night's lab....and Wedesday they have an exam on muscle so I won't need anything then.
thanks!
Mrs. A&P
Now...I'm just going to totally ignore the following typos: defn?, moring, not morning, Wedesday, not Wednesday (at least she managed to capitalize that one). Let's just dissect on the basis of content.
I left the dirty trays in the sink and put the brains with dura mater in the bucket and the others on one tray in the fridge (wasn't sure where they needed to go)....they will need those again next thursday.
You know where this sink full of dirty trays is? In the room that's so fucking hard for this lady to get into. Oh, and the trays in the fridge? The brains without dura mater? Try putting them in the bucket marked "brains without dura mater." thanks!
I will send you a list today (maybe over the weekend, but defn by monday moring) for monday night's lab....and Wedesday they have an exam on muscle so I won't need anything then.
When will you send me that list again? Today? Maybe over the weekend? But defn by Monday moring? Thanks for clearing that up.
Also, I must have misunderstood what moring, means, because, despite me sending her an email asking, she didn't manage to let me know by Monday MORNING what she needed, so when I had to leave work at 12, I had squat for her.
I guess she just had to find a key to the room.
Now, before you read this--I know this isn't a big deal. I know it's something that shouldn't bother me at all. But it does, because I hate it when people ignore simple logic.
So, this lab that I'm in charge of is a fairly simple setup. There is a classroom portion with lab tables, etc, plus all the big equipment, and a lab prep room where the chemicals, office supplies, and other "instructor only" stuff is stored.
So Mrs. A&P, we'll call her, needed some things set up last Monday...models and keys to the models. Because I don't like to leave stuff just sitting out in the open in the student-used classroom, I put the answer keys in a bin labeled "Anatomy and Physiology" that I created. This was placed in the office area of the lab prep room, so that student can't come in and steal the answers to their labs. I emailed this lady with very specific instructions as to what was where. She sent me a short email reply telling me about how she couldn't get into that room. Now, at the time, I thought this was odd, since she leaves things in there for me to clean up every single day. But I didn't spend too much time dwelling on it. She said it is always locked when she comes in, and it is a hassle to find someone to open it for her.
After I started thinking about this, I got frustrated. As I said above, she leaves me dirty animal dissection trays with water, formaldehyde, and rusting scalpels and pins in them all the time. Why couldn't she get in there? Also, the key to the classroom is the same as the key to the prep room. Because I thought maybe she hadn't noticed this, I sent her an email to let her know that in case she needs something in case of emergency, that she can get in there using whatever key she gets into the classroom with. Then I forgot about it.
Until she emailed me back. She sent back a rude reply that told me that the classroom is always open when she comes in, so to please put her stuff in the classroom, not the lab prep room. Now, this frustrates me for a few different reasons:
- Couldn't she ask whoever opens the classroom to unlock the prep room?
- Why are you being rude? Shouldn't you, as the lab instructor, know how to get to the damned safety equipment, like the mercury spill kit, first aid kit, and fire extinguisher? I wasn't rude to you when I wanted to be, so please say thanks instead of being snippy.
- Why is the lab that I am responsible for being unlocked by some unknown entity every day? It is just magically open? There are no classes that meet in the room between the time I leave and the time that she arrives. So someone just walks around unlocking rooms with thousands of dollars worth of equipment? And you think this is okay? No. No, it is not.
I left the dirty trays in the sink and put the brains with dura mater in the bucket and the others on one tray in the fridge (wasn't sure where they needed to go)....they will need those again next thursday.
I will send you a list today (maybe over the weekend, but defn by monday moring) for monday night's lab....and Wedesday they have an exam on muscle so I won't need anything then.
thanks!
Mrs. A&P
Now...I'm just going to totally ignore the following typos: defn?, moring, not morning, Wedesday, not Wednesday (at least she managed to capitalize that one). Let's just dissect on the basis of content.
I left the dirty trays in the sink and put the brains with dura mater in the bucket and the others on one tray in the fridge (wasn't sure where they needed to go)....they will need those again next thursday.
You know where this sink full of dirty trays is? In the room that's so fucking hard for this lady to get into. Oh, and the trays in the fridge? The brains without dura mater? Try putting them in the bucket marked "brains without dura mater." thanks!
I will send you a list today (maybe over the weekend, but defn by monday moring) for monday night's lab....and Wedesday they have an exam on muscle so I won't need anything then.
When will you send me that list again? Today? Maybe over the weekend? But defn by Monday moring? Thanks for clearing that up.
Also, I must have misunderstood what moring, means, because, despite me sending her an email asking, she didn't manage to let me know by Monday MORNING what she needed, so when I had to leave work at 12, I had squat for her.
I guess she just had to find a key to the room.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Idiots Who Want to Impose Their Religion on Everyone Else
There is an on going controversy in a small local town over a Christian flag flown at a public war veterans’ memorial. Evidently, an anonymous Afghan war veteran and the ACLU contacted the town council asking the Christian flag to be removed. After consulting with the town attorney, the council voted “reluctantly” to remove the flag because of the possible legal costs would be too high for the town (not because they should protect the 1st amendment or anything like that).
This has not stopped locals from putting their Christian flag on the site (which the town had to remove) and from calling the town council members to complain. Now, among other tactics, a group plans a 24/7 vigil for a month to keep a Christian flag at the site: http://www.wxii12.com/news/25133822/detail.html.
I’m sick and tired of myopic religious idiots trying to impose their religious beliefs on others. These fools are spending time and money (to support a legal fight) to take away the 1st amendment rights of others and their ability to feel like their town and their memorial respects their beliefs (or lack thereof). The anonymous war vet is afraid to give his identity for the safety of family!
I am perhaps more annoyed by the dumbasses on the town council. Yes, they voted to remove the flag, but for the wrong reasons. As members of a public entity, a local government, they should work to uphold our national constitution, not ignore certain parts that conflict with their fantasyland that the US is a historically “Christian” nation. Have many Americans over the years considered themselves Christians? Sure. Were we, as a nation, founded on Christianity and have a national religion established in our constitution? The answer to that question is an unequivocal “no.”
Believe whatever the hell you want, just leave me and others out of it.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
That's the whole bottle of wax.
My Dad is a lover of language...so it kills him when people slaughter it. He works with a guy (let's call him Darryl, since that's his name). Darryl is a nice guy, but he is, for lack of a better term, an idiot. Darryl misuses or flat out makes up so many words, that my dad has started his own list...it's like an Idiot's Urban Dictionary. I had him send me some of the highlights from his list for your viewing pleasure.
Fo Paws- "He made a fashion fo paws when he put that on."
Innerman- "I'm going to get new siding, but in the innerman, I'm going to paint.
Urps- "That really urps me."
Supposably/Supposivel/Supposelly- "He supposably goes to church."
Intensive purposes- "I quit smoking for all intensive purposes."
Overpath- "The I-75 overpath is always really busy."
Presumively- "Presumively, she is going to dump him."
Expediously- "He jumped that wall expediously."
Gription- "Kelly's tires were so worn he couldn't get good gription."
Whole bottle of wax- "And that's the whole bottle of wax right there. You have the entire story."
Other kettle of wax- "Well that's a whole other kettle of wax; not what we're talking about at all!"
Restrainment- "Hillary Clinton has been a model of restrainment."
Relaxment- "I am in total relaxment right now. I feel at peace (Namaste, bitches).
"You don't sit where you sleep." Needs no explanation.
Hot water heater- "To get a good shower, your hot water heater needs to work properly."
Depository- "Preparation H is teh best despository I've ever used."
Cadaber- "They wanted to replace my disc with a cadaber disc."
Nabel- "My nabel is an innie, but yours is an outie."
Ribbets- "Your car is held together with ribbets."
Vindicted- "You are a very vindicted person. Pure evil."
Privrut- "That is your privrut property."
Settlement- "I knew my well was going dry when I got a drink out of the faucet and noticed a little settlement in the bottom of my glass."
Pop belly pigs- "You aren't allowed to keep a pop belly pig in Winston-Salem."
Antsedote- "Just because she told you an antsedote about how she got that bruise doesn't mean you can believe it."
Fo Paws- "He made a fashion fo paws when he put that on."
Innerman- "I'm going to get new siding, but in the innerman, I'm going to paint.
Urps- "That really urps me."
Supposably/Supposivel/Supposelly- "He supposably goes to church."
Intensive purposes- "I quit smoking for all intensive purposes."
Overpath- "The I-75 overpath is always really busy."
Presumively- "Presumively, she is going to dump him."
Expediously- "He jumped that wall expediously."
Gription- "Kelly's tires were so worn he couldn't get good gription."
Whole bottle of wax- "And that's the whole bottle of wax right there. You have the entire story."
Other kettle of wax- "Well that's a whole other kettle of wax; not what we're talking about at all!"
Restrainment- "Hillary Clinton has been a model of restrainment."
Relaxment- "I am in total relaxment right now. I feel at peace (Namaste, bitches).
"You don't sit where you sleep." Needs no explanation.
Hot water heater- "To get a good shower, your hot water heater needs to work properly."
Depository- "Preparation H is teh best despository I've ever used."
Cadaber- "They wanted to replace my disc with a cadaber disc."
Nabel- "My nabel is an innie, but yours is an outie."
Ribbets- "Your car is held together with ribbets."
Vindicted- "You are a very vindicted person. Pure evil."
Privrut- "That is your privrut property."
Settlement- "I knew my well was going dry when I got a drink out of the faucet and noticed a little settlement in the bottom of my glass."
Pop belly pigs- "You aren't allowed to keep a pop belly pig in Winston-Salem."
Antsedote- "Just because she told you an antsedote about how she got that bruise doesn't mean you can believe it."
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
some people just need to be told to shut the fuck up.
Have you ever immediately met someone and known what an asshole they are? Well, that's something that happens to me on a daily basis. Some people might say I'm too quick to judge, but I have found that I'm rarely, probably even never, wrong about my snap decisions.
Recently, I was at a dinner with several people I'd never met before. They all seemed open, warm, like people I'd like to spend more time around. Another friend of theirs was deciding whether or not to join us based on the menu options at the restaurant. Really, before she even arrived, she was trying to dominate our conversation. Well, this was nothing compared to what happened when she arrived in the flesh.
Good God. Now, I'm not a big talker. I like to listen to other people and respond appropriately. I will occasionally throw in a related anecdote when I think it fits the conversation. I understand that other people like to talk a lot more than me, and that's just fine. But, like I said, Good God. This girl didn't take a breath from the moment she walked up to the table. No pauses to listen to others. She could have been the only person in the room, but that wouldn't have stopped her.
Now, this was rude in and of itself. But her incessant babble isn't even the worst part. The worst part is the terrible shit she was spewing. First, she was whining that their Pho wasn't vegetarian. The she decided to order the Pho with tofu instead of beef, but still in beef broth. She then complained about how having beef broth would probably make her sick, but she does it sometimes anyway, so it would probably be okay. (WHAT. THE. HELL. Be a vegetarian or don't. Pick a team). Then, when someone else was trying to speak, she got jealous. This girl said she was anemic, and was talking about how it makes her feel. Then Mrs. Chatty jumps in and talks about how she also has low iron, and went on to explain how she feels when she "feels iron deficient." One of the people at the table I didn't know asked, like acid, how one could feel "iron deficient" and went on to introduce the word anemic into this dumbasses's vocabulary.
Then, this dumb bitch offered her feelings on graduate school to the table. Now, keep in mind that more than half of this table has spent more time in grad school than Open Mouth herself. Her sage advice, keep a notebook and print things out, fell on deaf ears. People seemed incredulous when she told them to plan on studying from 9 am to midnight each day. She said 10 million other idiotic things that I can't remember right now, but you can imagine how brilliant she is.
Wait, maybe the worst part is that she is TOTALLY UNAWARE of how idiotic her behavior is. You're in grad school and have zero social skills? Really? Are you kidding me? Shut up and get a clue. Look at the expressions on the faces of the people you're talking with. Please. For the good of us all.
Recently, I was at a dinner with several people I'd never met before. They all seemed open, warm, like people I'd like to spend more time around. Another friend of theirs was deciding whether or not to join us based on the menu options at the restaurant. Really, before she even arrived, she was trying to dominate our conversation. Well, this was nothing compared to what happened when she arrived in the flesh.
Good God. Now, I'm not a big talker. I like to listen to other people and respond appropriately. I will occasionally throw in a related anecdote when I think it fits the conversation. I understand that other people like to talk a lot more than me, and that's just fine. But, like I said, Good God. This girl didn't take a breath from the moment she walked up to the table. No pauses to listen to others. She could have been the only person in the room, but that wouldn't have stopped her.
Now, this was rude in and of itself. But her incessant babble isn't even the worst part. The worst part is the terrible shit she was spewing. First, she was whining that their Pho wasn't vegetarian. The she decided to order the Pho with tofu instead of beef, but still in beef broth. She then complained about how having beef broth would probably make her sick, but she does it sometimes anyway, so it would probably be okay. (WHAT. THE. HELL. Be a vegetarian or don't. Pick a team). Then, when someone else was trying to speak, she got jealous. This girl said she was anemic, and was talking about how it makes her feel. Then Mrs. Chatty jumps in and talks about how she also has low iron, and went on to explain how she feels when she "feels iron deficient." One of the people at the table I didn't know asked, like acid, how one could feel "iron deficient" and went on to introduce the word anemic into this dumbasses's vocabulary.
Then, this dumb bitch offered her feelings on graduate school to the table. Now, keep in mind that more than half of this table has spent more time in grad school than Open Mouth herself. Her sage advice, keep a notebook and print things out, fell on deaf ears. People seemed incredulous when she told them to plan on studying from 9 am to midnight each day. She said 10 million other idiotic things that I can't remember right now, but you can imagine how brilliant she is.
Wait, maybe the worst part is that she is TOTALLY UNAWARE of how idiotic her behavior is. You're in grad school and have zero social skills? Really? Are you kidding me? Shut up and get a clue. Look at the expressions on the faces of the people you're talking with. Please. For the good of us all.
I brought a pie!
One of my classmates came into the graduate student lounge today at 11:38, ready to eat lunch before class at noon. Upon pulling her Marie Callender's chicken pot pie out of the freezer (I need to teach these people how to cook real food, but that's beside the point) she was shocked to see that it required 14 minutes to cook in the microwave.
After whining about the situation for 4 minutes, Ms. Too-Young-to-Be-a-Graduate-Student devised a solution to her pot pie problem. Instead of cooking it for 14 minutes on medium power, she would cook it for 7 minutes on full power! Genius!
The first thing I noticed was the smell. The second thing I noticed, when she took her once-pot-pie out of the microwave, was that it had disintegrated into a pile of chicken pie goo. It was now 11:49. That pie needed time to cool down. But time was the only thing The Pie Maker didn't have.
Having no other option, she was forced to eat her pile of steaming goo. I relished every moment thereafter; "ow!"s and "hot!"s escaped her mouth while the chicken and carrot ooze entered it. "I guess you can't just double the power and cut the time in half!" she said, the scorching pie exaggerating her intermittent speech impediment.
"No shit," I said, loud enough for everyone but her to hear me as I ate the last bite of my homemade chicken salad sandwich.
After whining about the situation for 4 minutes, Ms. Too-Young-to-Be-a-Graduate-Student devised a solution to her pot pie problem. Instead of cooking it for 14 minutes on medium power, she would cook it for 7 minutes on full power! Genius!
The first thing I noticed was the smell. The second thing I noticed, when she took her once-pot-pie out of the microwave, was that it had disintegrated into a pile of chicken pie goo. It was now 11:49. That pie needed time to cool down. But time was the only thing The Pie Maker didn't have.
Having no other option, she was forced to eat her pile of steaming goo. I relished every moment thereafter; "ow!"s and "hot!"s escaped her mouth while the chicken and carrot ooze entered it. "I guess you can't just double the power and cut the time in half!" she said, the scorching pie exaggerating her intermittent speech impediment.
"No shit," I said, loud enough for everyone but her to hear me as I ate the last bite of my homemade chicken salad sandwich.
Horizontal v. Vertical
First...how am I just now getting invited to this blog???? There is some good stuff here!!!!
Today I went to the front office, don't ask me what I needed, I don't remember. In fact, now that I think about it, I'm not sure I even accomplished my goal. At any rate, let me set the stage for you. We have a main office secretary. Let's call her Mrs. A. I must admit, while I had my concerns at first, I've been impressed by Mrs. A so far this year. We also have an attendance secretary, let's call her Mrs. M. She sits at the window and spews this perceived importance and power.
This week, Mrs. A is at the beach (good for her! I'm completely jealous). In her absence, Mrs. M has closed her window and moved over to the front desk, desk. Let the chaos begin. As I walked through the office this afternoon, I heard Mrs. M talking to another teacher, who will remain nameless, and the conversation went something like this....
Mrs. M: What about the lines?
Teacher: What lines?
Mrs. M: The horizontal lines?
Teacher: Don't you mean Vertical?
Mrs. M: No I mean horizontal, the ones that go across.
Teacher: That's vertical
Mrs. M: No, vertical lines go side to side
Really? And you are the first person people see when they come to our school. The place we are educating the future of America? Perhaps we should start with the staff.
Today I went to the front office, don't ask me what I needed, I don't remember. In fact, now that I think about it, I'm not sure I even accomplished my goal. At any rate, let me set the stage for you. We have a main office secretary. Let's call her Mrs. A. I must admit, while I had my concerns at first, I've been impressed by Mrs. A so far this year. We also have an attendance secretary, let's call her Mrs. M. She sits at the window and spews this perceived importance and power.
This week, Mrs. A is at the beach (good for her! I'm completely jealous). In her absence, Mrs. M has closed her window and moved over to the front desk, desk. Let the chaos begin. As I walked through the office this afternoon, I heard Mrs. M talking to another teacher, who will remain nameless, and the conversation went something like this....
Mrs. M: What about the lines?
Teacher: What lines?
Mrs. M: The horizontal lines?
Teacher: Don't you mean Vertical?
Mrs. M: No I mean horizontal, the ones that go across.
Teacher: That's vertical
Mrs. M: No, vertical lines go side to side
Really? And you are the first person people see when they come to our school. The place we are educating the future of America? Perhaps we should start with the staff.
Idiots Who are Obsessed with Their Own Children
After clicking the "Next Blog" button exactly 18 times, I realized that every blog I had seen was a chronicle of the life of one or more babies/children. Is it mean to want to read something entertaining? Are these people unaware that not everyone is as obsessed with their children as they are?
Idiotic School Spending
I work for a school system that pays a mysterious person known only as the "Power Nazi" a salary. The Power Nazi's job is to tour the various schools in Tift County each evening and leave nasty, threatening little notes for those who fail to turn off their computers or overhead lights.
But wait. It gets better.
My particular school has an old and outmoded heating and cooling system. My room particularly suffers from excessive cold due to hyperactive air conditioning. I teach while wrapped in a fleece blanket. My room is currently between 65 and 70 degrees. Why is no one firing the Power Nazi and using the money saved to fix my freaking air?
But wait. It gets better.
My particular school has an old and outmoded heating and cooling system. My room particularly suffers from excessive cold due to hyperactive air conditioning. I teach while wrapped in a fleece blanket. My room is currently between 65 and 70 degrees. Why is no one firing the Power Nazi and using the money saved to fix my freaking air?
Facebook Idiots
So, we all know why facebook is really so popular. Nothing is more satisfying than friending some acquaintance from high school, digging through their pictures, and seeing how wide they've grown in the years since you've seen them. The arch rivals are of course, divorced and stuck living with their mom, the exes who dumped us had to drop out of law school and now work at McDonald's. So. Satisfying.
But many of those people listed above, although fun to judge, have nothing on the most ridiculous of facebook idiots. These are the people who post the most intimate details of their life in their status, week after week. I have two "friends" from the high school days who do this constantly.
One, let's call her Amber, detailed her desire to have a child, When and where she and her husband were "trying." Amber's visits to the gynaecologist. Amber's sadness when she found out that she needed a hysterectomy. The parade of updates continued as Amber was sure that she was dying from her surgery. Amber decided she wanted to adopt a child. Amber whined each day about how she wanted a baby girl, but was unsure if it would ever happen for her. Amber was bitter because it seemed everyone around her was getting pregnant with little baby girls. Amber: 3 weeks since talking to the adoption agency for the very first time, still no baby girl! Boo, hoo, hoo, hoo. Amber hates her life, and tells me so through facebook update. Oh, and now, less than a year since she decided to have a child, she has Ellie, a cute little adopted baby girl. What a long wait! Now, this would be really depressing, I'm sure. In all sincerity, I usually felt sorry for her when I read her updates. BUT:
So that's one facebook idiot. The other "friend" is one of those people who made me question religion in high school. The daughter of Baptist ministers, she was always the girl singing about Jesus or leading Fellowship of Christian Athletes, only to have sex with her boyfriend in the bathroom (pick a team: Team Sluts or Team Jesus). When I first became her friend on facebook, Teena was "happily married to the best man in the world, with the two most beautiful children I've ever known." Well, that fell through, and she proceeded to swear off men forever. At least she had her kids. So, Teena moved home, and then immediately was "in a relationship."Little red heart. "I am so in love with Nick! He is the best." "Nick brought me dinner: fried chicken from Bojangles. Mmm." "I thank God that Nick is in my life. I feel like I have been given a second chance, and life is better than it ever was." And, then two days later. "I think I really screwed up." Teena is now single. Little broken heart. Now, flash foward to two weeks later. "I am totally and completely in love." "I met the best man in the whole world, and he loves me!" Tara is now in a relationship. Little red heart. Tara is now married. Little red heart, link to a picture of two people at the courthouse, plus their kids, totaling 4. Nothing to build a bond like someone else's children. Oh, and this guy is John, not Nick.
Now, Teena, from what I can remember, is really a kind person, but I can't help but think that she is a complete and total idiot. Not only do you jump into relationships, which clearly NEVER work out for you, but you then post about it on facebook. To me, the test of a healthy relationship should be a count of the number of posts about how great your significant other is. The fewer, the better.
But many of those people listed above, although fun to judge, have nothing on the most ridiculous of facebook idiots. These are the people who post the most intimate details of their life in their status, week after week. I have two "friends" from the high school days who do this constantly.
One, let's call her Amber, detailed her desire to have a child, When and where she and her husband were "trying." Amber's visits to the gynaecologist. Amber's sadness when she found out that she needed a hysterectomy. The parade of updates continued as Amber was sure that she was dying from her surgery. Amber decided she wanted to adopt a child. Amber whined each day about how she wanted a baby girl, but was unsure if it would ever happen for her. Amber was bitter because it seemed everyone around her was getting pregnant with little baby girls. Amber: 3 weeks since talking to the adoption agency for the very first time, still no baby girl! Boo, hoo, hoo, hoo. Amber hates her life, and tells me so through facebook update. Oh, and now, less than a year since she decided to have a child, she has Ellie, a cute little adopted baby girl. What a long wait! Now, this would be really depressing, I'm sure. In all sincerity, I usually felt sorry for her when I read her updates. BUT:
- How shitty must her husband feel? She is completely miserable, despite having a husband with a job who, from what I can tell, loves her more than he should. Nothing he can do is enough. NOTHING. He cannot make her happy. Happiness only comes from one thing: baby.
- This girl already has a kid, Josh, who she apparently completely ignores. I assume this because she spends 90% of her time updating her facebook about how she wants a different baby and sending me Frontierville requests.
- I don't want to know when her surrogate mother is 90% thinned and 3 cm dilated. I don't want to know when anyone is dilated. None of my business, I'm sure. I promise I won't tell you all if MY vagina/cervix happen to be bigger or smaller than the day before. This is my pledge to you.
- Despite the fact that she DOES let me know about the state of another woman's vagina, God forbid she use the proper technical terms about her own equipment. At one point, she posted the words "I need a hystorectomy," then deleted that post and from that point on, posted only about her "woman troubles." Nothing is worse that using your grandmother's terms for reproductive organs.
So that's one facebook idiot. The other "friend" is one of those people who made me question religion in high school. The daughter of Baptist ministers, she was always the girl singing about Jesus or leading Fellowship of Christian Athletes, only to have sex with her boyfriend in the bathroom (pick a team: Team Sluts or Team Jesus). When I first became her friend on facebook, Teena was "happily married to the best man in the world, with the two most beautiful children I've ever known." Well, that fell through, and she proceeded to swear off men forever. At least she had her kids. So, Teena moved home, and then immediately was "in a relationship."Little red heart. "I am so in love with Nick! He is the best." "Nick brought me dinner: fried chicken from Bojangles. Mmm." "I thank God that Nick is in my life. I feel like I have been given a second chance, and life is better than it ever was." And, then two days later. "I think I really screwed up." Teena is now single. Little broken heart. Now, flash foward to two weeks later. "I am totally and completely in love." "I met the best man in the whole world, and he loves me!" Tara is now in a relationship. Little red heart. Tara is now married. Little red heart, link to a picture of two people at the courthouse, plus their kids, totaling 4. Nothing to build a bond like someone else's children. Oh, and this guy is John, not Nick.
Now, Teena, from what I can remember, is really a kind person, but I can't help but think that she is a complete and total idiot. Not only do you jump into relationships, which clearly NEVER work out for you, but you then post about it on facebook. To me, the test of a healthy relationship should be a count of the number of posts about how great your significant other is. The fewer, the better.
From the Mouths of Babes
Today at tutoring, I heard Reid, the kid in the next room, say this little gem. "Mrs. Bonnett, I feel sorry for retarded kids, because they'll never be able to go to college and get drunk."
Monday, September 20, 2010
"I'm smarter than you, Dr. Gordon"
I'm not lucky enough to teach this kid, but I participated in a conversation with other teachers at school who are fed up with one of their so-called honors students. We'll call him Rob. Rob likes to tell his teachers that the reason he is ostracized by other students is not because he is obnoxious and unlikable, but because he is actually smarter than everyone. He is also smarter than his teachers, who are jealous of him. Their jealousy and failure to recognize his brilliance are, he argues, the reason why he has been a B student since leaving middle school. This little prodigy tells teachers and kids this kind of stuff to their faces.
The capper? During a parent-teacher conference, Rob's parents (and I suppose we should have seen this coming) informed his teachers en masse that Rob's incredible intelligence, not his poor judgment and offensive lack of social skills were the reason for his current lack of success in the world of high school. In fact, the problem is that Rob "really is" smarter than most of his teachers.
Thanks, parents, for crippling your already obnoxious son. I predict that he will be beaten to death in prison for walking up to the head of the Haitian mafia and saying, "I'm better at everything than you."
The capper? During a parent-teacher conference, Rob's parents (and I suppose we should have seen this coming) informed his teachers en masse that Rob's incredible intelligence, not his poor judgment and offensive lack of social skills were the reason for his current lack of success in the world of high school. In fact, the problem is that Rob "really is" smarter than most of his teachers.
Thanks, parents, for crippling your already obnoxious son. I predict that he will be beaten to death in prison for walking up to the head of the Haitian mafia and saying, "I'm better at everything than you."
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Is your husband sassy, sarcastic, and ironic around his friends? UH OH!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/18/signs-your-husband-is-gay_n_687160.html#s128659
Okay. So I'm sure you all expect the great people of CHRISTWIRE to be idiots. But still, it's worth sharing this link. Because you might find out that your husband is gay by looking at this information. I know it was earth-shattering for me.
Okay. So I'm sure you all expect the great people of CHRISTWIRE to be idiots. But still, it's worth sharing this link. Because you might find out that your husband is gay by looking at this information. I know it was earth-shattering for me.
Parenting: The understanding method
Walking the dog this evening we came across a family walking down the street...Mom and Dad were walking and the kids were riding bikes. The daughter blew by the son and the son promptly started crying his eyes out about how slow he is...which was hilarious enough by itself. Then mom decides to showcase her amazing parenting skills. "You're upset because your sister is faster than you, is that right?" "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" "Ok. Well mommy understands that you are upset because you aren't as fast as you'd like to be." "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" "Well what if we let you ride in front of your sister, will that make you feel better?" "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"I understand you are upset but unless you communicate with mommy, Mommy can't make you feel better."
What kind of crap is this understanding method? You can't communicate with a 4 year old like they are an adult. They are stupid. No wonder your son cries because he's slower than a girl. Maybe you should tell him to pedal harder or stop whining.
Chris
"I understand you are upset but unless you communicate with mommy, Mommy can't make you feel better."
What kind of crap is this understanding method? You can't communicate with a 4 year old like they are an adult. They are stupid. No wonder your son cries because he's slower than a girl. Maybe you should tell him to pedal harder or stop whining.
Chris
Math
Maybe this is because I'm a math genius, but it amazes and slightly annoys me when people cannot do simple estimations of math problems without a calculator. I'm not talking about getting an exact answer, but I don't understand why, for example, if you ask someone to divide 100 by 11, they can't come up with 9 as a rough estimate. This happens daily in my statistics class when I give close-to-exact answers to math problems and everyone else stares at me like I'm the one with the problem.
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