Biltmore Idiots

Someone mentioned to me that this blog had been tossed to the wayside, so I thought I'd put up a post to spur getting things back on track. Surely with the approaching holiday season, we will all encounter more than our share of idiots!

This post is actually based on an experience that Chris and I had some time ago, but we were reminded of it recently, and I thought it deserves a blog post.

Some time ago, Chris and I went to Asheville for the weekend to hear my brother's band play and see some touristy sites. Neither one of us had ever gone to the Biltmore, so we thought we'd buy the grossly overpriced tickets to get inside the biggest house in America. Just one time. However, we were too cheap to pay the $7 a person extra for the personal audio tour, consisting of an MP3 player that plays an audio description of whatever you're viewing. We thought that, being literate people, we'd be able to read about things just as easily and skip the annoying recorded voice.

I think there were about 8 other people there that day that made the same decision. The other 10,000 or so people spent their day bumbling around the mansion in perceived silence. Because they had silencing headphones on and a voice playing in their heads, they thought that the people crowded around them couldn't possibly hear what they were doing. So as we stand looking at art, at old bedrooms, at whatever, all that Chris and I hear is a chorus of flatulence. Everyone, everywhere in the Biltmore, is letting loose.

At first, it was funny. "Let's go to the nicest place in the country, and then fart freely and loudly!" We kept bursting into laughter, but no one else was in on the joke. However, after one long trip up a flight of stairs behind a man who farted with every step, the silliness wore off.

How could these people be so unaware of their surroundings? Just because YOU have headphones on and can't hear anything doesn't mean that everyone else has suddenly gone deaf, too. And even if they have, does that mean that it's now appropriate to constantly fart?

Finally, Chris and I ran across another couple in the same predicament in which we found ourselves. Finally, we decided the solution to this problem would be to comment, loudly, whenever someone farted. That way, we could indicate who was ruining our our frou frou tour with their gas. However, apparently talking is ruder than audibly farting, so we stopped. C'est la vie!

Know you didn't.....

Upon my arrival at work today, I checked my mailbox in the main office. As expected, there were two tests I had sent to the testing center (for 2 students who receive separate setting) a couple of days ago. Of course these students have not been in school for the past couple of days. This is where the fun begins....

On the bottom of one student's page was written...and I quote...

Now show 11/3 Teacher Aid's Initials
Now show 11/4 Teacher Aid's Initials

The same exact thing was written on the front page of Student #2's packet. (Just wait, it gets better.)

I walk over to another teacher (who is also in the EC department) and I say. "Ms. C, I know I'm about to hate on your boy, but look at this."

At this point I hand her the papers, She smiles and gives a slight laugh and says, (and I quote) "Oh, he left off the K."

Now you may find this hard to believe, but I promise I said the following sentence with the most serious face I've ever put on, "Actually he added a w."

I then said, "Have a great day." Walked out of the workroom, made it back to the office of my school and died laughing. And I do mean I almost died, I laughed so hard.

Good job America, We entrust the education of our children to these people. Not to mention they teach kids that need a little (or a lot) of extra help. Way to go. Ms. C likes to talk about how she grew up in the neighborhood our students live in, but that she was smart enough to over come it. I'm not so sure. And I wont even go into the fact that some accredited university (which shall remain nameless), is giving this woman a Master's Degree.

So say what you will about the movie, but every day I come to work, I realize as a nation we are WAITING FOR SUPERMAN, and he can't get here quick enough. Just because you work in a school doesn't make you educated.

Why don't you know how to use an apostrophe?

When you make a contraction the apostrophe REPLACES the letter(s) you are taking out. It does not go randomly in the word wherever you feel like putting it.

For example:

You all is shortened to y'all. The apostrophe takes the place of the "ou." So you should not write ya'll or 'yall unless you are mentally handicapped in some way.

Also, if you make a photo album for Halloween of the year 2010 but you want to be hip and cool and not write the 20 in the front of 2010 you should write '10. The apostrophe takes the place of the missing numbers "2" and "0." You should not write Halloween 10' unless you were 10 feet tall for Halloween. Which leads me to the next point.

The apostrophe can be used as a symbol for a unit of measurement called the foot. This is a measurement of length in case you are stupid. So if you are 6 feet 2 inches tall you can write 6'2". (the " is a symbol for inches). On the other hand, if you are selling a bicycle with a 58 inch frame you should not write 58' frame. That would mean the frame is 58 feet tall.

We are doomed.

People Who'd Rather Make a Rule Than Fix a Problem

Toys Banned from Happy Meals

So the story linked above has gotten a lot of attention lately. It's not the first time that something like this has happened. Basically, to encourage healthier eating habits in Americans, the City Council of San Francisco has banned toys in meals from restaurants that don't meet certain health standards. Don't get me wrong...I think that we're incredibly unhealthy as a country, we need to change our eating habits, etc. All that jazz. But this is like when the city of New York banned trans fats at all fast food restaurants. Yes trans fats are terrible and yes kid's meals are often terrible for you. But I have a HUGE issue with policies like this:

When did we decide that you should just make a rule, a law, an ordinance that prevents everyone from partaking in something because some people are making poor choices, while others are making good ones?

This example is a controversial one, but to me, it's evidence of a problem that teaching middle school highlighted for me. There is no such thing as personal responsibility any more. If you asked a child what this means, they would have no fucking clue. If you asked many young adults, once again, no idea. I think that personal responsibility has been abandoned in favor of rules to follow like the one above.

Instead of teaching people that if you eat unhealthy foods your entire life, you will get fat and have heart disease and diabetes and die, we say "happy meals are bad and can't be sold." This means that if you were like me as a kid, and you weren't fat and you ate healthy foods 80% of the time, and you went to get happy meals as a treat, because it's okay to treat yourself to unhealthy yet delicious food that comes with a toy occasionally, that's over. That's not okay, because of a stupid ordinance that someone passed that does nothing to fix a problem.

Instead of teaching kids the value of being on time to class and having respect for other people around them, we have bizarre systems of behavior in the hallways of our schools, where people have to march in lines and make no noise and be policed for 100% of their lives at school. Then, if a teacher isn't policing because THEY have no sense of personal responsibility, the kids start to act like monkeys and show up for class 10 minutes late.

Have you noticed that left turn "yield on green" lights have disappeared? That's because apparently no one is smart enough to use these systems of lights. No one is responsible enough to drive responsibly! Oh, wait! I am! You are! Too bad, you don't have a choice, anymore.

I realize all these are just little examples, that cities and states are allowed to pass ordinances as they choose. But I feel like they are all small parts of a large whole. Our lives have become a set of rules to follow, and I think this is why no one thinks the rules apply to them. People can't distinguish between what is important and what is just shit for them to do. I don't know, I just have a huge issue with this system. It doesn't work.

Took this photo a few years ago