Wednesday, September 22, 2010

That's the whole bottle of wax.

My Dad is a lover of language...so it kills him when people slaughter it. He works with a guy (let's call him Darryl, since that's his name). Darryl is a nice guy, but he is, for lack of a better term, an idiot. Darryl misuses or flat out makes up so many words, that my dad has started his own list...it's like an Idiot's Urban Dictionary. I had him send me some of the highlights from his list for your viewing pleasure.

Fo Paws- "He made a fashion fo paws when he put that on."

Innerman- "I'm going to get new siding, but in the innerman, I'm going to paint.


Urps- "That really urps me."

Supposably/Supposivel/Supposelly- "He supposably goes to church."

Intensive purposes- "I quit smoking for all intensive purposes."

Overpath- "The I-75 overpath is always really busy."

Presumively- "Presumively, she is going to dump him."

Expediously- "He jumped that wall expediously."

Gription- "Kelly's tires were so worn he couldn't get good gription."

Whole bottle of wax- "And that's the whole bottle of wax right there. You have the entire story."

Other kettle of wax- "Well that's a whole other kettle of wax; not what we're talking about at all!"

Restrainment- "Hillary Clinton has been a model of restrainment."

Relaxment- "I am in total relaxment right now. I feel at peace (Namaste, bitches).

"You don't sit where you sleep." Needs no explanation.

Hot water heater- "To get a good shower, your hot water heater needs to work properly."

Depository- "Preparation H is teh best despository I've ever used."

Cadaber- "They wanted to replace my disc with a cadaber disc."

Nabel- "My nabel is an innie, but yours is an outie."

Ribbets- "Your car is held together with ribbets."

Vindicted- "You are a very vindicted person. Pure evil."

Privrut- "That is your privrut property."

Settlement- "I knew my well was going dry when I got a drink out of the faucet and noticed a little settlement in the bottom of my glass."

Pop belly pigs- "You aren't allowed to keep a pop belly pig in Winston-Salem."

Antsedote- "Just because she told you an antsedote about how she got that bruise doesn't mean you can believe it."

3 comments:

  1. I think "hot water heater" is unfortunately quite common. I've probably said it, I'm sure.

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  2. I think the variations of supposedly are the thing that I hear the most. I worked with this lady who thought her family was just the smartest, and then she'd say supposably, and also ideal instead of idea.

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  3. My favorite is unthaw - Set that meat out to unthaw.

    ReplyDelete